Trucks of the North

Trucks of the North

LEANINGS

PETER EGAN

EVERY TIME THERE'S A MAJOR FLOOD somewhere in the Midwest, we get calls from our friends in the nation's coastal and mountain regions, checking to see if we're okay here in Wisconsin because they know we have a creek running through our property.

I always tell them that downtown Chicago will be under water and Noah will be yachting toward Mt. Ararat with his collection of zoo animals be fore any flooding reaches our house. We live on a hillside about 200 feet above the creek, you see, and have a long, steep driveway between us and the valley. We might as well live in Switzerland.

This is fine during a wet summer but not so good in the wintertime. About two or three times each winter, my Ford Econoline van either slides helplessly into the yard (and has to be pulled out by our sainted neigh bor, Tom Severson, with his farm trac tor and chains) or it slithers down the driveway successfully but can't make it back up to our house. Or-more im portantly-to my workshop, where mo torcycles are kept.

So from about Christmas until the end of March, I'm never sure if I'm going to be able to escape to a warmer climate with a motorcycle, haul a bike to a motorcycle shop or pick up the lat est two-wheeled object of my dreams. Several times in past years, I've had to walk a bike down the icy driveway so I could load it up for a trip to Daytona.

You see the problem. Never mind the summer floods. My friends should be calling in winter to see if I'm trapped under a motorcycle in the yard.

The reason I mention this is that I just looked out the window this morn ing and saw two or three yellow leaves drift down from the trees. It's late August as I write this, still hot and muggy, but I've been around long enough to spot the early signs of win ter. We're already getting Land's End catalogs showing people in bulky Nordic sweaters with moose themes. History has shown that it could actually snow in about two months.

This is why I've been cruising the car lots and looking at 4WD trucks the past few weeks on Sunday morningswhen the dealerships are closed and there are no sales personnel to distract me while I'm trying to read the small print on the window sticker. This peace and quiet allows my immense powers of logic to manifest themselves without the intrusion of economic reality.

And Plan A-should I choose to act upon it-would be to trade my Mustang GT and Ford van in on a quad-cab pickup that would haul mo torcycles but also work as a daily driver that goes through the snow and has the capacity to comfortably take an other couple to one of our many sacred Friday night fish fries at rural supper clubs in the dead of winter. This would also solve a small part of our chronic Too Many Insured Vehicles problem.

Right now, the Chevy 1500 Silverado is a front-runner, partly because it gets slightly better mileage than the oth er half-tons, and partly because I like its clean looks, which do not try to emulate a Peterbilt. My riding buddy Mike Mosiman, on the other hand, has a Honda Ridgeline and recommends it highly. It has a very short bed but is a more compact and car-like daily driver. He has lOOK on his with no problems.

I mentioned the Ridgeline to a Chevy salesman and he pitched me on the "buy American" theme, but I noted that the Honda is built in Alabama with 70 percent U.S. content while the Chevy is built in Mexico with 65 percent U.S. content. These are confusing times for the patriot. Next thing you know, Harleys won't be made in Milwaukee.

Regardless of brand, pickups come with a few disadvantages. The beds are

high for loading bikes (pointlessly so, it seems to me) and, without a topper, your stuff sits outside. With a topper, you can't load a bike. But I have three friends with newer 4WD pickups who reconm-iend them and don't seem to suf fer much from the open-bed problem.

My friend Pat Donnelly, however, has had several pickups but says, "Get an SUV that'll pull a bike trailer. You can take your friends to dinner, haul bikes, keep your luggage indoors and have a daily driver that's more agile and easy to fit in the garage." Some good advice to Donder here.

But then we can't haul a sofa, take our trash to the dump (which we have to do every two weeks) or haul fallen tree limbs, oily chain saws and engine blocks, etc. Once you have a truck of any kind, whether pickup or van, you become addicted to its utility and can't imagine how you lived without it.

Then there's the trade-in problem. I bought my Econoline new in 1997, but it has only 81,000 miles on it, is rust-free and looks almost new. I re cently did tires, brakes, shocks and new ball joints, so it also drives perfectly. I bought it for $25,000, but the current trade-in offers have ranged between $1500 and $3000. Seems crazy to give it away for so little.

Besides, about 80 percent of the time, there's nothing more useful on earth than a large, enclosed box on wheels. Keeps your tools, bikes, duffel bags and garage band gear warm and dry. I also slept in it all night (during a violent thunderstorm) right after I broke my ribs and foot in a Wyoming dirtbike ac cident two months ago. Nice motel.

And now, with winter coming at us like a speeding train, I seem curious ly gripped by indecision and inertia. I can't quite let go of my Econoline, and I remain extremely fond of the Mustang. Looks like I'm once again turning into a man with a van and no plan. I've already survived 20 winters in this crazy climate without a truck that goes through deep snow, so I sup pose I could save my money and try one more.

But I know a day will come when I'll look out the window at the van buried in a snowdrift and realize that my bikes and I are going nowhere for days-or weeks-and that I've let another year goby without solving this problem.

mat ugiy t~ruise you see every January or February is from me slap ping myself on the forehead.