"People Standing In Line For Nearly An Hour Up There. Jhst To Use the John!"

"PEOPLE STANDING IN LINE FOR NEARLY AN HOUR UP THERE. JHST TO USE THE JOHN!"

Something Awry with the OH Road Runs? You Bet. Here's One Dissected In Its Death Throes. Call It 23 Qualms.

BY ROGER HULL

ONCE UPON a time there were many famous motorcycling events— Laconia and Springfield and Catalina and Langhorne and all the others. Now they are only nostalgic names to be bantered about by those “old-timers” who have more than just two or three years of riding experience.

Even Death Valley—that musí run which missed its 15th anniversary last fall—may well be just another former glory. The rumors say that all rumors of cancellation will be denied—until just a few weeks prior to its scheduled time. Then it will be confirmed; no Death Valley again in ’69—or perhaps ever again.

It looks as if the Grand Canyon Tour won’t be at the Grand Canyon come Labor Day weekend. The rumor claims that the Forest Service no longer will make its facilities available.

And the annual Ensenada Run? Well, unless somebody new picks up sponsorship, that one is just a memory, too. Worst of all, a growing number of individual motorcyclists are claiming to have their qualms about ever attending another big run. “Why don’t they do something for those who don’t want to take part in the field meet or watch it? How about a tour, an actual riding tour? It’s not far to Joshua Tree National Monument and it’s at its prettiest this time of year.” (Mrs. Larry Turner, resident and rider participant, 29 Palms)

Obviously, something is wrong.

In the spring, the AMA District 37 Road Riders’ Committee held their 9th annual 29 Palms Spring Tour, one of Southern California’s big runs. It all got underway on Saturday morning, but by early evening some riders were leaving. Others went home Saturday night. More than half the crowd had disappeared when the Sunday morning events were started. Many of those departing early voiced identical opinions, using the same overworked adjective: “Just another sick run.”

Certainly the 29 Palms Tour does not have exclusive rights to all the problems: some are present at every big run. But it is unfortunate that on this particular run-a fund raising benefit for the City of Hope hospital—so many of the problems were so evident. Each created its own little qualm:

QUALM 1

The first complaint I heard was a little one. After we signed in, we went into town for lunch. The restaurant had a whole parking lot full of cycles. An older gentlemen on a small machine rode up and started talking to me. He said he was surprised there weren’t more people. I thought there had been a pretty good turnout. Anyhow, he said something about being supposed to meet his son and he couldn’t find him. I asked if he had checked out at the park. It was his first time at 29 Palms, I guess, because he didn’t even know that everything centered at the park. I told him how to find it, and we went in for a sandwich. In about 15 minutes he was back. He can’t find the park. I told him again and told him to look for the sign. Well, just as we were leaving, here he comes again. He still can’t find it. I had him follow us, but did you see the sign? It was hard to see and hard to read. I heard that a lot of the first-timers had a heck of a time finding where to sign in. (Excerpt from a letter written by an anonymous 29 Palms participant, April 30, 1969)

QUALM 2

Official: Hey, here’s another one of those idiots who sent his entry form to the Chamber of Commerce.

Rider: I thought you were supposed to.

Official: Dämmt, the mailing address was right on the form. Any fool could have seen it.

Rider: Well, I didn’t. What do I do now?

Official: Sign in post entry.

Rider: But I sent in my check weeks ago.

Official: Sign in or get out! There’s people waiting behind you. So, make up your mind-if you’ve got one.

Rider. Okay, okay. But what about the check I mailed?

Official: Tough! That’s your problem.

(Overheard, sign-in table, Knott’s Sky Park, 29 Palms)

QUALM 3

The run pins, so coveted for soft-cap or jacket display, were poorly made. Many fell apart in the box before they were handed out. Replacements cost 25 cents each. (Observed, sign-in area, Knott’s Sky Park, 29 Palms)

QUALM 4

“You know, there wasn’t enough advance publicity. Nobody here in town seemed to know much about what was going on or when it would all take place.” (Mr. and Mrs. David Robinson, residents, 29 Palms)

QUALM 5

Three full-dress ’74s pulled out of a service station, rode past the police barricades erected for the parade, waved at the patrolman on duty there (who cheerfully waved back) and headed up the highway. Moments later a customized Sportster ridden by a neat, shorn, helmeted rider followed their example. The patrolman pulled him over with much shouting and waving of arms. The two of them had a lengthy chat alongside the curb while the patrolman checked everything in that harassing manner usually reserved for the raunchiest of choppers. (Observed, streets of 29 Palms)

QUALM 6

“The parade wasn’t long enough—the route they took, I mean. They used to go up Adobe Road and over to the highway. Now they just go a few blocks and it’s all over with.” (Mrs. Nancy Brashard, resident, 29 Palms)

QUALM 7

“Momma, they’re going too fast. I can’t see them good.” (Unidentified child, parade route, 29 Palms)

QUALM 8

Apparently the Road Riders’ Committee selected the biggest male members of the cooperating clubs, pinned a badge on each which read “Enforcer Patrol” and then handed out billy clubs. Inspired by their solemn responsibilities, these astute scholars from the MightMakes-Right School kept on the alert for trouble—and occasionally found it. These “Goon Squadders” ended up creating a great deal of ill-feeling by their flagrant misuse of assumed authority. (Observed, Knott’s Sky Park, 29 Palms)

QUALM 9

QUALM 10

After less than one third of the group had been fed, the serving tables ran out of food. (Observed, chow line, Knott’s Sky Park, 29 Palms)

QUALM 11

The quality of the food was perhaps the best ever found at an event such as this, but the quantity left many hungry afterwards. One slice of meat about the thickness of a playing card covered half a slice of bread, no more than a tablespoon full of baked beans and an equal amount of delicious cole slaw. Price: $2. (Bill Harmer, Cycle News, May 13, 1969)

QUALM 12

One rider, unable to find anything to drink with his dinner, went across the air strip and beyond the limits of the park to the RRC-operated beer stand. On the way back, a Goon Squader stopped him. Although no sign warned the stand’s customers, beer was not allowed within the park area (in accordance with regulations established prior to the run). The thirsty rider gulped down part of his beer, dropped the partially empty can in a trash barrel, and returned to his dinner. Just a few minutes later, an apparent friend of the Goon Squader greeted him as he started back into the park carrying two cans of beer. The Gooner stopped him. A few words were exchanged. The rider concealed the two cans of beer under his jacket and went on his way, now able to enjoy his beer while he ate. (Observed, Knott’s Sky Park, 29 Palms)

QUALM 13

“I don’t often have people waiting to use my rest rooms. The ones up at the park just aren’t enough to handle a crowd like this. Somebody told me that they did bring in a couple of chemical one-holers, but even at that they say people are standing in line for nearly a hour up there. Just to use the john! I feel sorry for them. I’m a cyclist, too, and I know how these things are.” (Charles Asbury, Texaco Service Station, 29 Palms)

“The Twentynine Palms area is beautifully located in a high desert which is rich in history, Indian lore, natural beauty, and has many points of interest which seem not to be considered by the committee. My department would be most happy to help arrange such activities if so desired by the RRC.” (Statement, May 16, 1969, W.J. Procter, Director, Twentynine Palms Park and Recreation District)

QUALM 14

“April 27, 7:45 p.m. Male informant reports two males in street (urinating). Subjects are possibly on large motorcycles.” (Sheriff’s report, 29 Palms)

QUALMS 15, 16, and 17

The truck from which a drawing for prizes was held parked on the same side of the strip and down a way from the bleachers. The sound system was such that anybody using the bleachers could not hear the numbers clearly as they were called. Nor could they see much of the action. So, while the master of ceremonies sat on the end of the truck, his audience stood. The drawing went on and on and on, as each winner had to fight his way through the closely gathered standees in order to receive his prize.

After awhile some people wandered off and sat down on the bleachers. One woman had just pulled off her boots and was rubbing her feet when she heard her ticket number called. She shouted and began putting on her boots again.

The MC repeated the number.

The woman shouted again, and started running toward the truck.

“Three times is all I call ’em,” the MC announced after he had again repeated the number. He drew another one just as the woman arrived at the truck. In spite of her protests, she didn’t get her prize. (Observed, evening drawing, Knott’s Sky Park, 29 Palms)

QUALM 18

“April 26, 5:33 p.m. Male informant requests a unit in area of his residence due to motorcycles racing up and down his street.

“April 27, 9:15 a.m. Male informant reports motorcycles causing disturbance and riding across his property.” (Sheriffs report, 29 Palms)

QUALM 19

“We didn’t have much trouble. Oh, somebody threw a cup of coffee in here. Otherwise, everything was nice and quiet.” (Bette Cobb, waitress, Ma Penn’s Cafe, 29 Palms)

QUALM 20

Any attempt to enforce the no-beerin-the-park rule disappeared as the sun set. Among others drinking too much: at least one Goon Squader who had a flair for brandishing that 16-inch billy in one hand and a 16-ounce beer can in the other. (Observed, evening drawing, Knott’s Sky Park, 29 Palms)

QUALM 21

“Why don’t you two go into town with us? Last year they had a band out here but no dance permit. This year it looks like they got things exactly reversed.” (Overhead, evening drawing, Knott’s Sky Park, 29 Palms)

QUALM 22

“All motels in Twentynine Palms were reported as full, with many of the out-of-town visitors traveling on to Joshua Tree and Yucca Valley to find overnight accommodations.”(77ze Desert Trail, 29 Palms newspaper, April 30, 1969)

QUALM 23

“April 27, 9:15 a.m. Knott’s Sky Park reports that about five trees have been cut down at the park.” (Sheriff’s report, 29 Palms)

In the high desert country of California, it takes many years of careful tending for a tree to grow to the size of those in Knott’s Sky Park. Cutting of the trees was completely unnecessary. The city had provided plenty of free firewood—available for the taking.

QUALM 24

To whom it may concern:

“My part in this run has been being in charge of the parks upon which this affair is conducted. It has been a pleasure to be a part of this fund-raising rally on behalf of the City of Hope, and I found the motorcyclists to be not unlike any large group who use facilities which are not quite adequate. If we had had the same number of ministers gathered here, we would have had the same problems.

“I have become concerned, however, during the past years and especially this year, at the more or less carbon copy type of activities they have after they arrive in Twentynine Palms. There is the usual parade, drill formations, tests of skill, costume awards and merchants’ awards which seem to pretty well make up their planned activities. This seemed fine for a season or two; however, if I personally were a member of the RRC returning year after year, I would be desirous of perhaps a change of pace.

“I submit for consideration such things as planned trips into Joshua Tree National Monument, field trips to some of the local ghost towns, perhaps a planned visit aboard the Marine Corps Base, or field trip to Amboy Crater. There are many points of interest within a few minutes drive of Twentynine Palms. It would seem to me that trips such as this would somewhat add to the City of Hope Run.

QUALM 25

“The whole neighborhood is up in arms about the noise, bonfires, fights, and drinking until 4 in the morning.” (Radio broadcast, Station KDHI, 29 Palms)

QUALM 26

Official: You’re in the wrong place, buddy. You won’t get that machine judged over here.

Rider: Well, I tried to find out and they told me to bring it over here.

Official: And 1 told you you’re in the wrong place. You should have been over there with the rest of your class.

Rider: Well, one of the judges told me over here. How are people supposed to know, anyhow? It’s hard enough trying to figure out which class you’re supposed to enter your bike in, in the first place.

Official: Move that cycle! I’m not going to tell .you again.

Rider: To hell with this. I don’t need it!

(Overheard, bike judging, Knott’s Sky Park, 29 Palms)

QUALM 27

“I asked one of the RRC officials how much the tour had collected for the City of Hope. That’s something you would think they’d be proud of. And she asked me how I would like a punch in the nose.” (George Hays, magazine writer, Knott’s Sky Park, 29 Palms)

QUALM 28

“We left early this morning. No point in hanging around there just for the trophies, so we’ve been over to Palm Springs. I never understand why they give out trophies on these tours just for being there. Why don’t they just toss them to the crowd by the handfuls and let those who want them fight over them. What’s it got to do with motorcycling, anyhow?” (Unidentified rider, Denny’s Restaurant, Banning, Calif.)

THE 29TH QUALM

“As I understand it, this will be one of their most successful (financially) tours.

“There didn’t seem to be too many problems as far as the townspeople were concerned, although most people seemed to be uninformed. I tend to agree with those who have said that it could have been better organized. I do feel that there could have been a good deal more advance publicity concerning this event. I heard a few complaints that the parade was too short. Also, it is my belief that something new should be offered inasmuch as the routine is becoming stale.

“As I understand it, there is no publicity chairman, so this would account for the lack of advance publicity. Over all, the things seemed to go fairly smoothly. The 29 Palms Chamber of Commerce, as well as our entire community, is anxious to aid in any and all ways so far as continuing and improving this event is concerned.” (Ray Kinsman, Chairman 29 Palms Chamber of Commerce)

If these qualms are the symptoms of a “sick run,” can they be used to diagnose the basic illness? Lack of proper organization. Shortage of adequate facilities. Poor planning. Shoddy treatment of participants. Bad manners on the part of those same participants. An absence of consideration on the part of everybody. Just plain boredom.

(Continued on page 86)

Continued from page 59

What's the cure?

The AMA-sanctioned, AMA-mem bers-only, serum didn't take. Liberal dosage may have arrested certain pains temporarily, but there has been a re lapse.

Perhaps the cure is to be found in such alternate ideas as smaller tours or limited attendance or invitational runs. Perhaps commercial ventures should take over, operating on a plan similar to that travel agents use for their guided tours.

Some riders have been concocting their own versions of these, foregoing the stresses of the big run to take off in small groups for their own overnighters. They often are found at scenic camp grounds or in resort area motels, enjoy ing their own weekend of motorcycling with just a few selected friends.

It may be that faith will persevere and that the riders will return, ever optimistic that "It will be better than last year." Or perhaps the attendance will be sustained by simple turnoverenough new riders coming along annu ally to replace those so discouraged that they drop out.

Nevertheless, the big runs are in danger. Their sponsors-be they individ uals, dealers, clubs, groups of clubs, or even national organizations-must stop repeating the same mistakes, the same tired routines. They must start thinking, start planning, and start reorganizing.

And those who attend can no longer remain content to be just casual ob servers. Riders can help by active par ticipation, by complete involvement, by considerate attitudes and by courteous behavior.

• That last weekend in April, many 29 Palms stores displayed big banners: "Hello, Road Riders," "Welcome, Mo torcyclists," "...Salutes the City of Hope Riders." Hopefully, similar ban ners will be there next spring and, still hopefully, so will the participants. E~J